Sleep

I would like to preface this post by saying that the version of Strunk & White that we own does not cover footnoting sources on blogs so I am assuming that nobody out there will really care that I have copied out a few dictionary definitions.

Sleep, as defined by the Cambridge Dictionary online: the resting state in which the body is not active and the mind is unconscious

I beg to differ with that definition. Surely my mind is not conscious when I am up every hour of the night with a teething, almost-crawling, recently-developed-a-cold 7-month-old! Surely my body is not active as I race down the hall for the zillionth time, or lay in the recliner nursing while wishing that males had the ability to lactate.

By the above definition, I am getting lots of sleep. The only parts of my body that are active at night are the lactating parts. Speaking of those, I managed to block up my pump the other night. Apparently I no longer have any valid concern or worry about supply issues. How could I, when someone nurses round the clock every hour or two in what seems to be a frantic attempt to comfort and soothe herself back to a temporary state of inactive body and unconscious mind?!

But back to the definition of sleep. The Oxford Dictionary has this to say about sleep:

1 a regularly recurring condition of body and mind in which the nervous system is inactive, the eyes closed, the postural muscles relaxed, and consciousness practically suspended

2 a gummy secretion found in the corners of the eyes after sleep

Again, by the first definition, I am getting plenty of sleep. I suppose my muscles are relaxed as I lean back in the recliner wishing that I had never heard the words pelvic rotation. My consciousness is suspended to the point that I often wonder what day it is, which kid is which, and whether or not I will ever again be a functional human being capable of coherent thought and speech.

As for the second definition, I think that I have just discovered a perk of sleeplessness. I no longer need to wash the corners of my eyes in the morning. No sleep = no sleep. Just think of all the time that I'll save in the morning!

And finally, the Merriam-Webster Dictionary says that sleep is "the natural periodic suspension of consciousness during which the powers of the body are restored"

Powers of the body? Would those be things like talking in a complete sentence that doesn't sound like baby talk or gibberish? (On that note, my husband put the verb in the wrong place in a sentence yesterday. Apparently he is also not sleeping as much as he would like!) Or maybe it just refers to the ability to walk without feeling like you're in a zombie-like haze. One day I will walk Rachel into preschool and talk to the other moms without feeling like I'm out there somewhere else, watching this Jane-person interact as if she's a fully conscious human being who has slept for more than 2 hours in a row within the past month or two.

Drugs? Alcohol? Who needs them?! I've got sleep deprivation! Mind you, it's entirely possible that I may be addicted to frappucinos and lattes. Rachel asked me tonight why I had asked her and Ben to go out and get me a drink. She looked puzzled when I explained that the substances within were currently enabling me to function. She'll understand in 30 years or so! In the meantime, I'll look forward to returning home in a couple of months to order my first ever Double Double at good ol' Tim's!